


fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

by sylviewashere



Series: the taylor swift series [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Mentions of homophobia, Smoking, don't smoke to make cute girls think you're cool, for parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 04:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17501510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylviewashere/pseuds/sylviewashere
Summary: After over ten years, Aubrey runs into Beca again. They jump headfirst into a relationship, but their slightly rocky past catches up to them.// mine //





	fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean for this to be so long but it be that way sometimes. Also this is kind of a new way of writing for me in that it's non-linear so I hope that it flows okay and the timeline and everything is still clear
> 
> part of the taylor swift series

**// September 5, 2018 //**

A small bell rings from above the door as Aubrey steps foot in the restaurant. The aroma of fresh bread hits her instantly, and she sighs happily. After a long day of moving in to her new apartment, a good meal is exactly what she needs. Stacie recommended this little hole in the wall sandwich shop to her weeks before she even got to Seattle, and Aubrey can already tell why. It’s not too crowded, because it’s only 4:00pm, so Aubrey finds a seat easily in the back corner.

The list of sandwiches seems to go on forever, so Aubrey doesn’t even hear the waitress ask for her drink order. A cough pulls Aubrey’s attention from the menu, and she starts to apologize quickly for not paying attention; but the second she and the waitress make eye contact recognition hits them both like a storm.

“Beca Mitchell?”

The smirk that Aubrey didn’t think she’d ever see again crosses the waitress’s face.

“In the flesh. Glad to see you remembered who I was this time.”

“Wow, I never thought I’d see you here,” Aubrey recalls the last time she saw Beca, about ten years ago. The thoughts bring back a lonely sort of nostalgia, like quicksand trapping her and threatening to pull her in. It’s a feeling Aubrey doesn’t want to revisit right now. So Aubrey pushes it to the back of her mind.  

“Same for you, Posen. You look good after all this time.” Aubrey would expect this to come out as snide, but Beca’s tone is genuine.

Aubrey is only able to offer a, “you too” as response. And Beca does look good. Seattle seems to be treating her well. She seems more relaxed than Aubrey remembers - and not the aloof, not caring sort of relaxed attitude that she carried in high school, but like she’s happy with where she is. The sleeves of tattoos peeking out from under her shirt and the numerous piercings are closer to the Beca that Aubrey knew.

“I thought you’d stay in that shitty town your whole life,” Beca flips the empty tray she’s holding in her hands absentmindedly.

“Bridgepool isn’t shit,” Aubrey rolls her eyes, remembering Beca’s disdain towards their hometown. She wants to comment about how not everyone wants to leave and never look back like Beca did, but she bites her tongue. “I left for college, sure, but I still came back every summer and stayed for a year or so before moving for work. My family is still there.”

“Dating at all?” Beca asks, innocently enough. But the question makes Aubrey feel like she’s suspended on a high wire. Which is stupid. She’s an adult, this is what adults talk about. Relationships.

“No, I…”

Aubrey mentally checks her imaginary files titled “Bullshit Excuses” for a one of the vague responses that she usually people. Everyone, especially her parents, berate her endlessly about settling down. And it’s not that she’s not trying at all. She does. There have been plenty of girls she’s been interested in and who have been interested in her. So there should be nothing stopping Aubrey from dating.

Emphasis on the should be.

“I’ve been focused on work. No time for relationships.” That’s Aubrey’s default response. It’s safe, and everyone who knows her knows that she’s a workaholic. It’s easier than trying to explain why she can’t seem to stop holding herself back.  

Aubrey searches Beca’s face, but can’t read her expression. Figures. She never could get a good read on her. Beca just grunts thoughtfully and asks Aubrey what she wants to drink again.

“Sweet tea.”

Beca returns with Aubrey’s tea and takes her order, not having time for any other small talk as more people start to come in. Aubrey digs in to her chicken salad and scrolls through her phone. Every few minutes, she glances around and finds Beca waiting other tables. Occasionally Beca notices Aubrey watching her and throws her a smile, softer than the one that Aubrey remembers.

“You should take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Beca says when she hands Aubrey her check. “You pay at the front.”

“Thanks.” She starts to stand and leave without saying anything else, but she can see traces of hope behind Beca’s expression and she backtracks. “It was really nice to see you again, Beca. Maybe we could get lunch sometime and catch up for real?”

“Sure,” Beca smiles. She offers her phone to Aubrey so she can put her contact in before adding, “It just has to be a weekend. I don’t have time during the week ever.”

“Oh, work?”

“No, um,” Beca stuffs her hands in her pockets. “I just waitress part time. I have classes during the week. At the local community college.”

“Oh.” Aubrey tries to keep the surprise out of her voice. She’s able to muster up a genuine sounding, “That’s great, Beca.”

But they both know there’s a hint of bitterness hidden in the comment. It sticks to Aubrey’s tongue, and she desperately wants to spill everything she’s thinking out and drown Beca and her in it.

 _It’s stupid,_ she argues with herself. _It was more than a decade ago, Aubrey. And it wasn’t anything. You were kids._

“Yeah, it’s great.” Beca mumbles, knowing there’s questions bouncing around in Aubrey’s head. There have been since Aubrey first spotted Beca around the room. But she swiftly dodges them by saying she has to finish her shift.

Just like that, she’s disappeared through the kitchen door.

**// March 13, 2007 //**

“Beca!”

“Leave me alone, Aubrey.”

“No, Beca,” Aubrey catches up easily, grabbing Beca’s arm and spinning her around. Beca scowls at her, trying to yank her arm out of Aubrey’s grip in vain. “What just happened back there?”

“I punched some douche. Thought that was pretty clear.” Beca tries breaking free again, but Aubrey holds tight. “Let me go, dude.”

“Not until you tell me what happened.”

“I literally just told you. Bumper was being a grade-A dickweed, so I did what everyone’s wanted to do since middle school.” Beca’s jaw clenches, and Aubrey knows she’s not getting anything else out of her. There’s a watery look in Beca’s eyes, like she could break at any moment, and the thought of Beca crying makes Aubrey’s stomach twist.

“Fine,” Aubrey drops Beca’s arm. “If you don’t want to tell me what actually happened, then don’t. But you can’t do shit like this, Beca. You could be suspended.”

“You can’t be suspended if you’re dropping out.” Beca turns away and starts walking out of the front door of Bridgepool High.

“...what?” Aubrey runs after her, pushing out the door and into the parking lot. “Beca, what do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said,” Beca answers without turning around, tugging her hood over her head even though it’s too warm for it. “I’m dropping out.”

“But what about…” _Us_ comes to mind, but Aubrey isn’t even sure that there’s an _us_ to try to fight for. “What about your plans? We were going to go to Barden, and you were going to study music and--”

“And it’s all pointless anyway, Aubrey!” Beca whips around, and Aubrey can see that tears are flowing freely now. She wipes them away aggressively, smearing her mascara slightly. She looks at the makeup smearing her hands. “Ew, fuck…”

“What do you mean ‘it’s pointless’?”

“Everything! This whole college thing! I don’t know why I even applied, honestly. I don’t want to go, and I’m never going to. So why stick around this shithole any longer?”

Beca’s response and the tears still streaking down her face and her voice growing hoarse from crying and yelling leave Aubrey speechless, with a lump in her throat that threatens to choke her.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now, Aubrey,” Beca sighs. Aubrey slowly takes a step forward, afraid she’s going to upset Beca more and trigger another outburst by saying something wrong. She just wants Beca to tell her what the hell is going on, and she has no chance of that happening if Beca doesn’t calm down. Beca takes a big step away from Aubrey, and it hurts more than any punch in the gut ever could. “I really just...I can’t.”

“Okay,” Aubrey resigns.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Is it?”

“I guess.”

A silence washes over them.

“Is there anything that will change your mind?” Aubrey asks finally. Beca looks at her vacantly, and Aubrey can tell that the answer is ‘no’. “Okay. I respect your decision. And I’ll stop asking about it. But I do want you to know that you can talk to me about this.”

“I know.”

“Okay.”

“And I will. Not right now,” Beca sighs, and she looks towards her car, like she’s desperate to leave Bridgepool High as soon as possible. “But soon.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah,” Beca nods. “Promise.”

**// September 6, 2018 //**

As Aubrey steps out of the shower, she glances at her phone and sees that she got a text from Beca asking if she needs any more help moving in. Aubrey didn’t even think Beca would try to contact her again after their less than ideal parting yesterday, so seeing Beca’s message leaves her staring at her phone for a good fifteen minutes, tracing her fingers along the case and trying to decide what to say.

She finally just decides to send Beca her address, and Beca replies that she’ll be over soon. Then she realizes that she’s still standing around in a towel, so she rushes to get dressed, throwing on a turtleneck and jeans and tossing her still wet hair into a ponytail.

Neither of them mention the uncomfortable parting from the previous day. It sits in the back of Aubrey’s mind; but they both just seem happy talking and laughing about anything but their past. So she doesn’t ask any questions.

After Beca finishes helping Aubrey put away her dishes and put up pictures of family and friends around the apartment, she flops onto Aubrey’s couch and lets out a content noise. Aubrey ignores her, continuing to walk around the apartment adjusting picture frames and various decorations. Something about Beca’s presence makes her feel a little less uneasy about moving in. She’s a familiarity in a sea of changes - an unexpected one at that.

“Can you believe it?” Beca asks all of a sudden. Aubrey looks over to see Beca sitting upside-down on the couch, watching Aubrey carefully. Aubrey smiles at the way Beca’s hair stands on end and barely touches the floor.

“Can I believe what?” She asks as she goes back to arranging books on her living room shelf.

“That we’re both here,” Beca answers. “We both left Bridgepool and somehow ended up in Seattle at the same time.”

Aubrey pauses, and turns back to Beca, leaning against her wall. She pushes the stray hairs that have escaped from her ponytail out of her face. “It’s a small world, I suppose.”

“Not that small. I was probably always going to end up here. But you,” Beca struggles for a moment, flipping over so she’s right side up again. “I always thought you’d end up going to like, D.C. or something.”

“Why D.C.?”

“Dunno, you seem like the type. Why did you come here?”

“Honestly?” Aubrey chews on her lip. “I have no clue. I only know one person who lives here - two, counting you. All I knew is that I needed a change. And I was in between jobs. So it was a good time to move across the country, if there’s ever a good time for that.”

“What do you do again?”

“I’m an architect.”

“Oh,” Beca hums thoughtfully. “I thought you were into politics and all that. That’s what you told everyone in high school.”

“I was.”

A flash of her father’s face when Aubrey told him that she refused to go into politics like himself crosses Aubrey’s mind. She must visibly flinch, because Beca quickly changes the subject.

“Hey, do you want to go to dinner? To celebrate you moving in and everything,” Beca asks. Then she quickly adds, “It’s my treat.”

In an effort to deflect the attention from her, Aubrey asks playfully, “Beca Mitchell, are you asking me on a date?”

Beca surprises Aubrey by quipping back, “Only if you want it to be.” Aubrey’s caught off guard, left frozen looking for the right answer, rather than the answer she wants to give. Beca saves her by adding, “Calm down, Posen. Let’s just see where the night goes.”

They end up going to a nice Italian restaurant just a few blocks from Aubrey’s place. Beca fills a lot of the conversation by telling Aubrey her favorite spots around Seattle, and Aubrey tries her best to listen. But the question that’s been on the tip of her tongue all night finally tumbles out as Beca pauses to take a sip of her beer.

“Why did you come to Seattle?”

Beca stop mid sip, but she looks at Aubrey with an expression that tells her she was expecting this question.

“My mom lived here. She’s moved a ways out of the city since I was able to get on my feet, but she’s still within a couple hours drive.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Aubrey doesn’t ask Beca to elaborate any further, because she knows that parents are a bit of a sore subject for both of them, and she doesn’t want to ruin the nice day they’ve had by dragging something up. Especially the question she actually wanted to ask.

_Why did you leave?_

Because Beca promised she would tell her. And she never did. Hell, maybe Beca forgot about it. Forgot about her. But clearly, that isn’t the case. She’s here now. And she wants to start fresh. Shouldn’t that be enough?

“Hey,” Beca says, reaching across the table and taking Aubrey’s hand. The simple, gentle touch almost sends Aubrey spiraling into another pit of overthinking, but Beca’s hand grounds her. “You wanna share a dessert? I hear their cheesecake is better than sex.”

Once they’re back at Aubrey’s apartment, Beca stops outside of Aubrey’s door, playing with her keychain.

“Did you want to come in?” Aubrey asks. It’s meant to be an innocent offer, but Beca raises an eyebrow at her and she tries to backpedal. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean for...I mean I’m not against the idea of us, uh…fuck.”

“Not against the idea of us, uh fuck, huh?” Beca smirks. Aubrey feels like she’s watching herself tug at her turtleneck and screaming at herself to just not say something else stupid. “I actually can’t. I promised my roommate I would feed her dumb hamster, and I most definitely forgot to do it this morning.”

“You should probably do that then.”

“Probably,” Beca shrugs. “Maybe next time?”

“Next time,” Aubrey repeats. It finally settles in that maybe this dinner did end up going into date territory more than she expected it to. And that feeling intensifies when Beca’s hand meets her hip and pulls them together. Their lips meet, and Aubrey sighs into Beca, quickly taking the upper hand and tugging her closer by the collar of her leather jacket. Beca makes a little squeaky noise when Aubrey’s teeth meet Beca’s bottom lip, and Aubrey’s sure Beca can feel her smug smile.

They pull apart at the same time, both a little breathless and unsure of what to do now. Aubrey runs her hand over Beca’s jacket, pausing when she feels a small box in the pocket. Beca looks at her sheepishly when she reaches in and pulls out a box of cigarettes.

“Beca Mitchell,” Aubrey gives her an exaggerated gasp. “It’s 2018 and you still smoke?”

“What does the year have to do with it!”

“Everyone knows all of the cool kids these days get their nicotine addiction from vaping. Or juuls. Or whatever they are,” Aubrey shakes her head.

“Whatever,” Beca snatches the box from Aubrey. “I’m trying to stop, actually. This is an old box.”

“Good,” Aubrey tucks a piece of hair behind Beca’s ear. The way Beca’s looking at her with soft blue eyes brings on a longing feeling that leaves Aubrey’s chest feeling tight. “You always were a rebel.”

“You were too.”

“Just that one time. And did that really count? You made me, after all.”

It’s the first time either of them have brought up any specifics about their past, and both of them seem like they’re in uncharted waters. Aubrey holds her breath, waiting for some sort of statement that will lead to an argument that will lead to everything being ruined.

It doesn’t happen though. Beca just pulls Aubrey closer to her again, giving her a soft kiss before pulling back and stepping away from Aubrey’s apartment. “It counts.”

“Text me when you get home?” Aubrey asks quietly, and she feels stupid for saying it immediately after. But Beca just smiles and agrees.

Aubrey doesn’t go into her apartment until Beca is out of sight. She steps in and leans against her door, rubbing her lips together subconsciously. She can’t help but laugh at her own ridiculousness.

_You’re a grown woman, Aubrey, get it together! Stop acting like a blushing schoolgirl and woman up!_

A while later, her phone buzzes and she stops brushing her teeth to check it.

[Beca]: home safe

[Beca]: we should do it again sometime, rebel.

[Aubrey]: You shouldn’t talk to yourself, it’s weird.

[Beca]: ...

[Aubrey]: But I’d love to.

**// March 9, 2007 //**

The distinct smell of cigarette smoke creeps through the bathroom door, making Aubrey recoil as she steps in. It’s not completely uncommon for girls to flee to the bathroom to smoke, but they usually at least try to be discreet about it.

“Are you serious?” Aubrey coughs. “You’re not even going to try to hide it?”

A brunette is leaning against the wall, cigarette in one hand. She lets a trail of smoke out and rolls her eyes at Aubrey. “What are you gonna do, Posen? Arrest me?”

“And how exactly do you know my last name?”

“Dude, really?” Aubrey stares at her blankly. “Well, for one, you’re not exactly flying under the radar, Madame Class President.” She mock salutes, throwing Aubrey a lopsided grin. It falls again quickly. “Also, we’re in the same grade. Have been since, like, first grade.”

“Oh.”

Aubrey searches her face, trying to place a name to it. All of Aubrey’s peers tend to run together after a while, unless she actually has classes with them. And Aubrey tends to ignore people who are...like her. Leather jackets and smoke and enough dark makeup that it may as well be a mask. The kids who smoke in the bathrooms, the kids who graffiti the side of the school, the kids who are two seconds away from flunking or dropping out.

After a long enough time to make this interaction significantly awkward, the name finally comes to her. “You’re Beca. Beca Mitchell. We, uh, have English together.”

“And bio.” Beca rolls her eyes again. Aubrey at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed. “Not that I expect you to notice. I skip bio usually. And the only reason I don’t skip English is because my dad’s the head of the department.”

“And I’m sure he’d approve of you smoking in the girls’ bathroom,” Aubrey deadpans, any apologetic feelings for forgetting Beca being pushed away by her attitude.

“Yeah,” Beca laughs, then her face turns serious. “Don’t tell him.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Aubrey puts her hands on her hips.

“Better question,” Beca pauses to take a drag, steps toward Aubrey and breathes out smoke into Aubrey’s face. Aubrey doesn’t flinch, pushes away a cough. The act makes Aubrey want to rip Beca’s vocal chords out. Beca looks a little impressed that Aubrey doesn’t back down, but she stands her ground too, only inches away from Aubrey’s face. “Why should you?”

“What?”

“Why should you go tattle on me, Prez?” Beca repeats. Her breath smells of smoke, and Aubrey almost wavers. Because of Beca’s combat boots, they’re about eye level with each other. “What do you get out of it?”

“I don’t _get_ anything. It’s against the rules. It’s in the student handbook.”

“Which, while I’m sure that you jerk off to the handbook every night--”

“ _Excuse me?!”_ Aubrey swears she almost slaps Beca right then.

“Oh, stick it up your ass, Posen. We’re adults here, we all jerk off.” Aubrey feels about a million times warmer, and she’s sure that it’s not the heat of the bathroom that’s making her face flush. “You just so happen to jerk off to the student handbook.”

“I do not _jerk off_ to the student handbook, Beca. It only takes three brain cells to know that you’re not supposed to smoke in school. Although, I suppose it’s rather bold of me to assume that you have more than one brain cell in that tiny skull of yours.”

“Whatever,” Beca scoffs. “You don’t even need the handbook to be a total utter control freak. Now tell me, do you have to remove the stick up your ass every night, or does it just chill there?”

“I’m not a control freak, and I don’t have a stick up my ass. You just have a complete disregard for rules and anyone but yourself.”

All of a sudden, a box of cigarettes is being shoved against Aubrey’s chest. Beca meets Aubrey’s questioning look with a raised eyebrow.

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Prove you don’t have a stick up your ass.”

“If you’re suggesting I smoke with you, I’m going to have to politely decline.”

“Come on, Posen. Be a rebel.”

Aubrey doesn’t respond again, her mind too busy occupied with the hundreds of terrible outcomes this could have, ranked in order of best to worst case scenarios. Scolding. Demerit. Detention. Suspension. Expulsion. Addiction. Lung cancer. Death. Her mom finding out. Her mom telling her dad.

Beca takes the box back and takes one out, flipping it in her fingers. “You’re telling me you’ve never been tempted?”

“No, I…maybe a little,” Aubrey admits, like she’s just admitted to considering murder. “Just like, out of curiosity.”

“Well?” Beca offers her the cigarette to Aubrey. Aubrey takes it, but with palpable apprehension, mostly just due to her inability to back down from a challenge. Her mama always said she was as stubborn as a mule. Upon Aubrey’s tensing, Beca backs off a little. For a moment, Aubrey sees a Beca drop her tough girl facade. “You don’t actually have to smoke with me, dude. I’m not gonna like, force you too. I couldn’t care less - as long as you don’t rat me out.”

Aubrey untenses, scanning Beca’s face. The moment passes, however, and Beca’s face turns unreadable.

“I want to.”

“Okay dude, you don’t - wait, what?”

Aubrey brings the cigarette to her lips, a little unsure of how to handle the foreign object. She’s sure that she’s going to do something wrong, but proceeds with a feigned confidence anyway.

“Light me,” she mumbles.

Beca’s face breaks into a mischievous grin, putting her own cigarette between her lips so she can shuffle around her pocket for her lighter. She pulls it out, flicking it and bringing the flame towards Aubrey. Beca pulls back again for a second.

“You sure you know what you’re doing, Posen?”

Aubrey rolls her eyes, pulling the cigarette away from her mouth for a moment. “I’m sure I can handle it, Beca.”

“Just checking!” Beca flicks the lighter again, and Aubrey prepares herself.

And suddenly, the bathroom door swings open. Beca, the one of them that’s used to having to dodge authority and make excuses, acts quick, stuffing her pack and lighter into the edge of her boots and moving towards the sink so it looks like she’s washing her hands. But Aubrey just freezes entirely, unlit cigarette still in her hand, eyes wide, staring at the teacher who just stomped in.

“Girls, you know that smoking is not tolerated -- Miss Posen?”

“Hey, Mrs. Drew,” Beca tries saying casually, snatching the cigarette from Aubrey’s hand and tossing it into the trash. “How’s the husband? Heard that he went on a fishing trip last weekend.”

“Mrs. Drew, this isn’t -- uhh...I...” Aubrey just gapes at her history teacher like a fish. Her stomach lurches, her body reacting to Aubrey’s panic against her will. Mrs. Drew is saying something to her, but none of the words quite reach Aubrey, sounding almost like she’s in a fishbowl. Before she can even realize what’s coming herself, she feels hands guiding her to the stall, and she drops to the ground, stomach emptying into the toilet that she wouldn’t have made it to if it hadn’t been for…

Beca. It could only be Beca.

The only thing she registers hearing is her mumbling, “Woah dude, gross. I mean, it’s okay, you’re okay” and she thinks she feels tentative hands rubbing her back.

After a moment, the comforting gesture goes away. Which Aubrey doesn't mind. This is possibly the most embarrassing thing to ever happen.

Aubrey manages to recover fine, mumbling about how she probably ate something bad. When she exits the stall, no clue how long she was in there, Beca’s standing at the sink holding a couple of pieces of paper and offering Aubrey her most sympathetic smile. “Mrs. Drew left to get the nurse.”

“Ugh,” Aubrey groans, pushing past Beca to the sink. She looks at the reflection in the mirror, her face pale and a little sweaty. A glance tells her Beca’s still watching her carefully. Aubrey’s still not able to truly read her expression. “Did that at least distract her from reprimanding us?”

“‘Fraid not, bud.” Beca hands Aubrey one of the pieces of paper, and Aubrey’s stomach threatens to betray her again.

“Detention.”

**// November 25, 2018 //**

A body shifts from under the covers, nudging Aubrey in her side. She looks down from her book and sees a mess of hair peeking out from the comforter. Part of her wants to wake Beca up and ask her if she wants to get breakfast, but the other part knows Beca would prefer to sleep more and go straight to lunch.

Something about the last couple of months has just completely flown by Aubrey. Usually, she feels like she’s moving through life with her legs caught in quicksand, trapped in her habits and unable to break free.

And it’s not that she hasn’t settled into a routine after she moved. She has. She’s just started working at a new architecture firm, she frequents the same deli most days, and comes home to either do extra work or to see Beca. Or both.

Beca. She’s become a big part of Aubrey’s life here. They started officially dating fairly quickly, which terrified Aubrey because she was sure she’d mess it up. But, aside from an argument about Beca not wanting to do the dishes every once in a while, they’ve been going strong. They both have drawers of clothes at each other’s apartments and spend most days of the week together - even with both of them working and Beca’s classes.

Aubrey’s always so afraid of change in her life, so afraid of the unexpected. But Beca has thrown her for loops since day one, and somehow that hasn’t scared the absolute shit out of Aubrey. At least, not in a bad way. Something about Beca makes Aubrey brave enough to take these small leaps of faith, diving into something that leaves her frozen in her own fear, just teetering on the edge of something great.

But Aubrey never sees the great possibilities, only the worst ones. She doesn’t think Beca sees the great possibilities though. Beca seems just like she doesn’t care enough about it turning out bad to have any qualms about jumping straight in.

Maybe Aubrey is a little scared. Of what, she has no idea. Whether it’s the idea of love itself or the idea of possibly being in love with Beca, there’s still something holding Aubrey back, keeping her from taking some final leap.

And then, yet again, Aubrey is dangling over another precipice.

“Should we move in together?”

Aubrey isn’t sure if she doesn’t quite understand because Beca’s mouth is full of taco meat and lettuce or if she just can’t believe what she’s being asked. Beca repeats herself after she swallows.

“I mean, if you don’t want to, I don’t want to pressure you. We see each other like, most days anyway. It just seems like a logical step.”

Every part of Aubrey is screaming at her to just stop staring at Beca like a deer in the headlights. Because she does want this. She wants to be with Beca. But what if it doesn’t work out? What if she goes through all of this and they don’t end up staying together?

“Aubrey?” Beca looks at her with worried eyes. “I’m sorry, it was a dumb idea. We can just forget--”

“Move in with me,” Aubrey blurts out finally. The weight that was pushing down on her lungs is immediately lifted when she sees Beca’s face light up.

“You sure?”

“No,” Aubrey states honestly. She regrets it quickly, but Beca’s reaction eases her anxieties.

“Okay good, neither am I.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“Like I said, it seems logical. And I do want this. But if we’re being completely honest, I’m not 100% sure how it will go. I figure we might as well try, though. Right?”

Just like that, Beca’s taking Aubrey’s hand, and they’re jumping together.

In the next few days, they start packing up Beca’s belongings so she can move into Aubrey’s apartment - the bigger of the two. While shifting around some of Aubrey’s things around to make room for Beca’s, they come across an old photo album. Aubrey finds Beca flipping through it on the loveseat instead of organizing things like she’s supposed to be doing.

“Hey, what’s this wedding photo?”

“Which one is it?” Aubrey ask, looking over Beca’s shoulder.

“This one,” Beca points at it. “The one where you’re a bridesmaid. You look hot.”

Aubrey moves Beca’s hand aside so she can see the picture fully. Her face drops a little when she sees which one it is. The wedding party is small, only a handful of bridesmaids and groomsmen - her brothers and cousins among them. It’s hard to tell from the picture, but Aubrey is giving her fakest smile to the camera.

“My father’s,” Aubrey says coldly.

Beca squints at the photo, then turns her body in the chair so she can face Aubrey. “You never told me your parents split. How long ago was this?”

“Wedding wasn’t that long ago, at least that one wasn’t. About two years ago? He’s had one other before that,” Aubrey sighs. “The divorce happened during our senior year.”

“Really? You never mentioned it.”

“You never gave me the chance,” Aubrey fires back, quickly getting defensive. And still silently seeking the explanation she was promised.

The Posen’s had been on the edge of divorce for half of Aubrey’s high school years. Since her junior year, they’d been on the back and forth about everything - a lot of it involving Aubrey. Aubrey’s mother didn’t think that her father was giving Aubrey the recognition she deserved, especially after she applied to Barden. Aubrey’s father would just say that he was too busy, and leave for work weeks at a time.

Mrs. Posen instilled the idea - purposefully or not, Aubrey’s not sure - that maybe if Aubrey overachieved, Mr. Posen would notice. So she tried. And nothing happened. Aubrey couldn’t fix her own relationship with her father or her parents relationship, no matter how hard she tried to be the perfect child.

During their senior year, her father had just gotten back from being gone for almost an entire month on a supposed work call. It didn’t even end in any fighting.

Just silence.

Her father left for good.

This happened a month after Beca left.

Aubrey bites her tongue before she brings up the fact that Beca _couldn’t_ have known since she up and left with no explanation or any way to contact her before it happened. She knows how she lashed out still delivers the message though.

Beca stands and turns to face Aubrey fully now, the loveseat caught between them.

“Well, we’ve been dating for, like, three months. I feel like that’s something I should know by now.”

“Don’t try to pin this on me,” Aubrey threatens.

“I’m so sorry, was I supposed to dig this photo album out sooner?” Beca puts her hand on her chest in fake shock. “Was that supposed to be our fourth date activity, getting wine drunk and reliving our parents divorces?”

“I’m not doing this right now,” Aubrey huffs and starts walking to the kitchen to get away from Beca’s sarcasm.

“Didn’t seem like you were ever going to do it!” Beca follows her.

Aubrey rests her weight on the counter, letting her head loll between her braced arms. Her chest feels tight, and she kind of just wants to scream. At who and what about, she doesn’t know.

Beca’s right. She should have told her. Why didn’t she? Was it some backwards way at getting back at her for still not telling her why she left?

She hears a deep sigh and a glass of water is being held out to her. Aubrey looks up at meets Beca’s eyes. Her father always said, “Apologies were for the weak and waiters who brought you the wrong meal”.

But he’s been married three times, what the fuck does he know?

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Aubrey breathes out. “I shouldn’t have gotten defensive.”

“It’s okay, babe. I forgive you.” Beca doesn’t exactly look happy again, but she at least doesn’t seem like she wants to keep this argument going either. “Let’s let it go, yeah?”

Part of Aubrey wants to say, “No, I don’t want to let it go. Maybe I would have told you that sooner if you ever told me why you left?”

The other part doesn’t want to fight with Beca. Not while she’s moving in. Not while things are going so well. What if she says the wrong thing again? Even the thought of Beca just wanting to go back to her own apartment for tonight makes her feel terrible.

So she doesn’t push it. Leave it for another time. Maybe leave it altogether.

If Beca hasn’t told her by now, maybe she has reason to.

The time will come for it, and Aubrey will just have to wait until then.

Aubrey and Beca fall into bed together not long later, both exhausted from moving and both thinking over a lot of things. Aubrey tries to fall asleep, but her mind is buzzing from earlier. Her eyes open again, and she sees the glow of Beca’s phone over Beca’s shoulder.

“Hey, Beca.”

Beca shifts, putting her phone on the side table and turning so she’s on her right side facing Aubrey. “Hi. I thought you fell asleep.”

“Can’t sleep.”

“Are you thinking about earlier?”

Aubrey gives her a halfhearted shrug.

“I was too,” Beca answers for her. “Don’t worry about it too much, okay? Chloe always tells me arguing is healthy in a relationship, or whatever.”

“It’s not just that,” Aubrey says vaguely.

“Okay, then what?”

“I don’t know,” Aubrey sighs. She moves her hand to brush Beca’s hair behind her ear. “I guess just general worries. This is the first real relationship I’ve been in. I’m just scared I guess.”

“That we’ll break up?”

“Moreso that I’ll ruin it somehow.”

“Well, I feel you there.” Aubrey gives her a surprised look. “Please, you think I’m not afraid of ruining things? I’m almost 30, and I’ve just started going to college. You would not be considered the screw up in this relationship.”

“You are not a screw up,” Aubrey says firmly.

“Depends on who you ask.” Beca pauses. Then she reaches for Aubrey’s hand that’s been winding through her hair and holds it, running her thumb over her knuckles. “You know what one good thing is?”

“What’s that?”

“We’re both children of divorce,” Beca says, as if that itself holds all the answers in the universe. When Aubrey doesn’t respond, she continues, “We’ve seen up close and too personal what not to do. Makes us more likely not to make the same mistakes.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Are you still in contact with both of your parents?”

“Yeah, my mom more so than my dad. But I still talk to both of them when I can. Why?”

“Double the gifts on Christmas, baby!” Beca grins. Aubrey laughs, pushing Beca’s shoulder a little. “What? It’s true! Even if they’re shitty gifts, that’s double the shitty gifts!”

“I can’t argue with that,” Aubrey smiles. Beca looks so proud of herself for getting Aubrey to laugh, eyes crinkled at the edges and lips pulled into that stupid goofy grin that makes Aubrey’s heart do flips. Before she knows it, the words are falling from her mouth. And somehow, she’s not afraid to jump on her own this time. “I love you.”

There’s virtually no beat before Beca answers back.

“I love you, too.”

**// March 10, 2007 //**

“What do you think you’re doing?” Aubrey crosses her arms over her chest. She’s already pissed enough - she’s in _detention_ for Christ’s sake. All because of _her_.

“Is this some sort of trick question?” Beca rolls her eyes. She got up from her seat after the supervisor left, saying that he trusted that Aubrey would keep Beca out of trouble - they’re the only people here today. Like Aubrey wanted to be responsible for the gremlin after she got her here on a Saturday in the first place.

Although Aubrey’s mind keeps trailing back to Beca comforting her when she threw up, and how different it was from the Beca she’s seen around school normally.

But then she remembers why she was throwing up in the first place and gets mad at her all over again.

Aubrey stays in her seat, watching Beca shuffle through her bag for her iPod and headphones and walk across the room. She starts unlocking the window, and Aubrey finally speaks up again. “I hope to god that you’re just opening it to get some air and not so you can smoke.”

“You think I’m gonna smoke while I’m literally in detention for smoking? How dumb do you think I am?” Aubrey doesn’t answer. Which Beca takes as an answer. “Right. But I’m not smoking. I’m leaving.”

“You’re...leaving?”

“Yup,” Beca pushes the window open as far as it will go. “Mr. Sanchez will usually stay gone for like, the entire morning. So I leave for a couple of hours and come back like a half hour before we’re dismissed. Easy.”

“No, you’re absolutely not leaving, Beca!” Aubrey barely keeps her voice steady, because she just absolutely cannot believe what’s happening. “If you get caught--”

“What? They’ll give me detention again?” Beca raises an eyebrow. She starts climbing through the window, and Aubrey just sits and watches because she doesn’t know what she can do. Or if she should even do anything. Realistically, Beca’s right. Sanchez is the least caring teacher ever - Aubrey’s complained about him to administration multiple times. Why should Aubrey even care?

Once Beca drops outside, she sticks her tongue out at Aubrey. “Later, Posen!”

“Where are you even going?”

“The river out behind the school,” Beca starts to leave, but pauses a second, stepping back in front of the window and poking her head in. “You can come with, if you want.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Beca shrugs. “Dunno. It sucks sitting in a room by yourself. At least you get fresh air out here. Thought I’d at least ask.”

When Aubrey doesn’t respond, just turns around again, Beca starts walking away. Aubrey is left alone with her thoughts in the classroom that seems to be getting warmer by the minute.

Lurking memories of her mother’s disgusted face when she told her that she had detention today persist in her mind. It had not been a pleasant conversation; especially when she asked _why_ Aubrey had gotten detention. The only good that came out of it - if you could even call it good - was that her dad actually engaged with her and acted like he cared for once.

Of course, he just told her that she “better shape up or else”.

Baby steps.

She’d tried to pin the blame on Beca, but she felt guilty about it. Considering she really wouldn’t have gotten caught with a cigarette if it weren’t for her own stubborn pride.

Or maybe it was a subconscious desire to not have to be the Perfect Little Posen for once.

Maybe a bit of both.

And it’s that sudden want - or need - to rebel that pushes her to get up and follow Beca.

Down by the edge of Bridgepool High’s campus lies a bit of forest and a slow moving river. Aubrey’s only ever been out here for the occasional science project, but she knows this is a popular spot for people to ditch and smoke or make-out. A passing thought of whether Beca’s ever done the latter floats by, but Aubrey shakes it away.

The terrain is a little uneven, but Aubrey manages to get to the river’s edge pretty easily, spotting Beca sitting on a fallen log. Her headphones are in, and she seems to be pretty wrapped up in whatever she’s listening to. Aubrey sees an opportunity and takes it, sneaking up behind Beca and grabbing her shoulders lightly. Beca screams and practically rolls off of the log into the water.

“Jesus Christ, dude!”

Aubrey can’t hold back her laughter. Seeing the usually laid back Beca scream like the first white girl to die in a horror movie has a certain satisfaction to it. Beca is quick to whip around and raise a fist, but the second she sees Aubrey snickering at her she lowers it.

“Haha, very funny. Glad you could take the stick out of your ass long enough to scare the shit out of me,” Beca huffs. Aubrey doesn’t take Beca’s insult seriously at this point, and Beca must know this. She adjusts herself back in her spot again and gestures for Aubrey to sit down. “Didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“I didn’t either,” Aubrey admits. Beca looks at her for clarification, so Aubrey continues. “It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. Not usually my style.”

“No shit,” Beca laughs. “Guess you just wanted to hang out with me more, huh?”

“God, no.”

“Oh, come on.”

“This has nothing to do with you.”

“Sure.”

Aubrey scoffs and looks away from Beca, turning to the river instead. She can still feel Beca’s gaze on her, so she finally lets out an exasperated sigh and says, “Fine! I guess you’re not terrible to hang out with.”

“Knew it!” Beca’s face breaks into a goofy grin.

“Even though you’re a terrible influence and are 100% the reason I’m in detention and my perfect record is ruined.”

“That’s fair,” Beca agrees. “Sorry about that.” She turns her attention to drawing shapes in the dirt with a stick. Aubrey watches her. There’s no real rhyme or reason for the patterns Beca’s making, but something about the motions is calming.

The silence between them isn’t uncomfortable. Beca seems as wrapped up in her own thoughts as Aubrey is. Beca’s accusation of Aubrey wanting to hang out together puzzles her. The other day, she barely knew Beca. But it only took a challenge from her and a couple of brief moments of kindness from Beca to make Aubrey want to know more about her.

“Why do you come out here?” Aubrey finally breaks the silence.

“What?”

“I mean, you’re just drawing shapes in the dirt. Is this any more entertaining than being in the detention?”

Beca hums thoughtfully, stabbing the stick she’s been drawing with into the dirt. She props her leg up on the log and rests her chin on her knee. “Not really. I like it out here though. It’s peaceful. Helps me think.”

“You could do homework, you know.”

“Not allowed to in detention.”

“Yeah, well you’re not allowed to _leave detention_ either.”

“And yet,” Beca smirks at Aubrey. “Here we both are.”

“My point is you could at least be productive.”

“I’ve already been accepted into college,” Beca shrugs. “I just have to do the minimum to keep my grades decent, and I’m golden.”

“I suppose,” Aubrey gives in. In some sort of effort to fill the silence, Aubrey asks, “What college?”

“Barden.”

“Really?” Aubrey’s face must give away more shock than she intended, because Beca immediately goes on the defensive.

“What, you think I’m too stupid or--”

“No, no, calm down. I was just surprised because that’s where I’m going,” Aubrey says.  

“Really?”

“Should I be defensive now?”

“No. I just thought you’d be applying to like, Harvard or something.”

“My mother thought so too. But my father went to Barden, so that’s where I’m going.”

“Ah, a legacy. Nice.”

“Yeah,” Aubrey lets out a deep sigh.

“You don’t seem too excited about that,” Beca points out. Aubrey’s expression turns hard. She can feel herself tense up, and Beca must notice too because she doesn’t push Aubrey for any more information. “Barden has a pretty good music program. That’s why I’m going. Not that my dad is happy about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

Beca shrugs. “It sucks, but he can’t change my mind. He’s lucky I’m even going to college. It took a lot of arguments.”

“I didn’t want to say it,” Aubrey realizes she’s started off rather unpromising, but there’s not much going back now. Beca looks at her more amused than ready to go on the defensive, anyway. “But you don’t seem much like the college type. Not like, intelligence wise. But like…”

“Attitude?” Aubrey nods. “Yeah, that’s kind of on purpose. Keep people’s expectations low, that way you either meet their expectations or will be able to come back and give them a big middle finger to the face.”

Aubrey can’t help but laugh at Beca’s philosophy. Beca looks pleased. The laughter fades away slowly, leaving Aubrey looking at Beca rather seriously. “You know, your dad might not approve of what you want to do, but he must still be proud of you.”

“I guess,” Beca shrugs. “I’m sure your dad is too.”

“I wouldn’t know. If he is, he never tells me. He’s more focused on basically anything else in the universe that isn’t named Aubrey.”

“Dude, that sucks.”

“That’s putting it simply.”

“But you’re like, the perfect child. Other than this one instance.”

“He doesn’t care, apparently. Honestly, this was like the one time he actually paid attention to me. It was to tell me to not get in trouble again, sure, but it was something.”

Aubrey can hear her own voice wavering, so she cuts herself off before she can say anything else that gets her frustrated and inevitably emotional. It doesn’t keep the thoughts of her mother’s expectations that she can never reach or how her parents argue over and over again about how her dad is never around - or their most recent one about how her father is the reason that Aubrey is getting in trouble all of a sudden. Maybe her mom is right about that one.

All of the shitty feelings stick in Aubrey’s mind, and she doesn’t know how long she’s been silent for - it could have been just a few seconds or a couple of minutes. What pulls her back is the sudden feeling of a gentle arm wrapping around her. She hasn’t even noticed the tears that started trailing down her face until now, and it leaves her feeling weak and insecure and vulnerable and everything she hates feeling.

“Woah, dude, it’s okay.” Beca’s words don’t offer much comfort, but the sound of her voice is grounding at least. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, no it’s fine. It’s not your fault my father is shitty.” Aubrey wipes away the tears from her eyes, probably a little too aggressively. “I haven’t...I don’t really talk about this at all.”

“I get you. I don’t either. Nobody really asks,” Beca pauses for a moment. Aubrey looks up at her and is suddenly aware of how close they are. She think she sees Beca’s eyes dart down to her lips, but maybe not. Aubrey doesn’t know how to feel about that possibility either - it’s not entirely unwelcome, though. “It feels kind of good to talk about it though.”

Something about Beca is distinctly confusing to Aubrey. Beca so clearly has a facade put up - not too different from herself - but it doesn’t seem to take too much to get her walls to come down. At least when someone else is willing to put their walls down too. It’s a give and take with Beca. And Aubrey supposes she’s the same way. Possibly even a little harder to get her walls to come down. But Beca doesn’t seem to want to push Aubrey any further.

“I don’t know if I’d say ‘good’.” Aubrey lets out a weak laugh. She hates crying. Especially in front of other people. But Beca doesn’t make a big deal out of it or brush it off like its nothing. She’s just _there,_ and that’s what Aubrey needs.

“Okay, yeah. I’d give you a tissue if I had one but...”

“It’s okay.”

Neither of them say anything else, but Beca doesn’t let go of Aubrey. And Aubrey doesn’t feel the need to jump away either. It’s odd. But...good. Being this close to Beca.

If Aubrey had known that her and Beca would get along this well, maybe she would have befriended her sooner. They’re both stubborn and clearly have too much pride for their own good, but they kind of get where the other is coming from in that respect. It would’ve been nice to have Beca around so they could both complain about their respective parents and get it off of their chest with someone who understood so well.

But now they _do_ have each other, and Aubrey doesn’t quite know what they are. Acquaintances? Friends? Two sides of the same coin?

Okay, that’s not really a relationship title, but it seems the most accurate.

And they’re both going to Barden. Which is something Aubrey is unexpectedly excited about. She’s met Beca so late in their high school run, that if they weren’t going to be at the same school she would feel like she missed the opportunity for something. That ‘something’ that Aubrey can’t really identify. But she supposes she’ll have to wait and find out.

Who knows? Maybe it will all go to shit and they’ll never speak to each other again.

She hopes that’s not the case.

Aubrey is pulled from her thoughts when Beca shifts, and her arm is pulled from around her. She immediately backs away, assuming their contact is no longer welcomed and not wanting to seem clingy. But Beca just gives her a smile and says, “You’re good, dude. My arm is just falling asleep.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Beca waves the apology off. They’re still sitting close, Beca’s thigh brushes against Aubrey’s own, and Aubrey doesn’t want the contact to go away. “I’m sorry that I made you come out here just to drag up a bunch of emotional shit.”

“You didn’t make me,” Aubrey rolls her eyes at Beca’s weird affinity for thinking she has some big influence over Aubrey. “I make my own decisions.”

“Of course you do,” Beca laughs. “You just can’t admit that you actually like me, huh?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything, sweetheart,” Beca teases. Aubrey can see the challenge in Beca’s eyes, but she doesn’t budge. “Come on, admit you like me!”

“I will do no such thing, Beca Mitchell.”

“Ooo, so proper!”

Something about Beca’s goofy smile makes Aubrey’s heart start beating faster. She turns away from Beca so she won’t see the blush creeping up her face.

“IguessIlikeyou.”

“Huh?”

“I said,” Aubrey huffs. “I guess I like you.”

“I’m sorry, can you say that again?”

“I like y-” Aubrey whips her head around and sees Beca giving her a smug look. “Oh, shut up.”

“What?” Beca says unconvincingly. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I take back my statement.”

“Fine, but I know you don’t mean it.”

Aubrey pouts at Beca, crossing her arms over her chest. Beca rolls her eyes, stands up and offers Aubrey her hand to help her not trip on the branches. As they walk back to the classroom, Beca says offhandedly, “Don’t worry, Posen. I like you too.”

**// December 18, 2018 //**

Aubrey sits at their kitchen table with her head in her hands. She hasn’t been able to sleep properly in the past couple of days, so 2:30am awake with a headache isn’t completely uncommon. Organized neatly in front of her are various bills and letters. She chews on her nails absentmindedly.

She doesn’t hear the soft footsteps, but when Beca wraps her arms around her from behind, she doesn’t startle, just moves a couple of papers around so they’re settled on top of each other. “Did I wake you up?”

“No, you know studying kept me at weird hours. I just live like this now I guess.” Beca sways back and forth and Aubrey moves with her slowly. “Why are you up?”

“I started working on some plans for work, but then my mind drifted to bills. So, bills.” Aubrey gestures.

“Boo. If you’re going to stay up, at least do something less lame.” Aubrey grunts. “Alright, what’s actually up with you?”

Aubrey sighs and takes off her reading glasses. She feels Beca move to sit across from her. She honestly doesn’t know exactly what’s been bothering her so much she can’t sleep. Maybe it’s just work and the general stress of life that’s getting to her. Or it’s the letter she pushed to the bottom of the mail pile. She moves her other things aside and pulls out the red envelope. She passes it to Beca without saying anything.

“A letter from Ted Posen? Why’d your dad send a letter, are we in the 20th century?”

“People still send letters, Beca.”

Aubrey waits for Beca to read the letter. It doesn’t take long, there are only a few lines. Her father, as usual, kept it brief. She’s read through it so many times in the past few nights that it’s practically been memorized.

_“Aubrey, glad Seattle is treating you well. I don’t think it will be a good idea for you to bring your roommate to Christmas. It will cause too much trouble. Maybe another time. Merry Christmas - Ted”_

Beca practically throws the letter down. “What the fuck? ‘Too much trouble’? What am I, a dog?”

“I don’t know why he’s being like this! Maybe I should call him?”

“What’s the point? I’m not exactly _enthused_ to go visit him after this,” Beca shakes her head. “It’s whatever. Your mom was more than happy to see us last week. Can’t win them all.”

“But maybe it’s some sort of misunderstanding. Or he just feels weird about it because I’ve never brought a girlfriend to a holiday before! Plus it’s been so long since we’ve talked anyway, I probably sprung a lot of information on him...”

“Why are you making excuses for him?” Beca asks.

“You don’t get it,” Aubrey says, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. But she’s so tired at this point that it all falls flat anyway.

“Bullshit.”

“Is it so bad that I just want my dad to act like he fucking cares, Beca?” Aubrey raises her voice louder than she means to.

“What about me? What about how I feel about this?” Beca raises her voice back. “I hate that he’s treated you like this. I’m a part of your life now, Aubrey. And I love you. But I’m not going to try to make friends with your dad if he acts like this.”

“Maybe...” Aubrey can feel tears forming now. “Maybe I just want to keep trying. At least a little more.”

“For what, Aubrey? What’s going to change after all of these years? He’s proven that he’s a shitty dad over and over. Why keep giving him chances?”

Aubrey goes silent at that. She knows that Beca’s right. Maybe it’s just time to give up on breaking her neck to try to get the most minimal of acknowledgement from her dad. Beca flips the letter over.

“When did you open this?”

“A week and a half ago.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Beca sounds betrayed.

“I didn’t know how to bring it up,” Aubrey says quietly. She sniffs, feeling another bout of tears coming on because she’s upset Beca. “I didn’t want to make it a big thing until I figured it out on my own.”

“You’ve been losing sleep over this, Aubrey!” Beca stands up from the table, rubbing her temples. “You can’t keep everything difficult from me! I’ve been worried about you. We could have tried to figure it out together. How do you think I feel that you can just keep stuff like this from me until I just happen to force it out of you like I’m shaking change out of someone’s pockets?”

“Don’t,” Aubrey warns, standing up from the table as well. She knows she has tears running down her face again, but she doesn’t know if they’re sad or angry now. “Don’t even try to act like you haven’t done the same thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Beca looks panicked for a second, but quickly regains her composure. “That was over ten years ago.”

“Then it shouldn’t be a big deal to tell me right? You’ve had plenty of time to figure it all out, so tell me.” Beca looks a little defeated. Aubrey holds her ground. “Tell me why you left. You promised that you would. And then I never heard from you again.”

“I…” Beca crosses her arms over herself. “I can’t, Aubrey. Just give me a minute to calm - Aubrey, where are you going?”

Aubrey doesn’t hear anything past the “I can’t”. She’s going out the door, no idea where she wants to end up. She just needs to find some way to breathe. She ends up outside the apartment building on the sidewalk. It’s almost too cold for her to stand here, but she just needs to be away from Beca for a minute.

Everything feels like it’s slipping right out of their hands. She doesn’t even know how they ended up here. Everything happened so fast. Not just the argument, everything between them always seems to happen so fast. It’s like Aubrey never has a chance to take a breath.

Maybe this is it. This is the end of them. She’s messed it up again. If she could have just not  pushed everything down and hoped it went away, they could have avoided so many issues.

Quick footsteps make their way over to Aubrey, and she’s suddenly being wrapped in her winter coat. She  turns around and sees Beca, staring at her with tear streaks down her face. Beca looks strangely calm.

Aubrey braces herself for the goodbye. Which she should be used to by now. It’s practically all she’s ever known.

“I’m sorry, Aubrey,” Beca shivers. “Can we go inside though?”

“No, I like it out here.”

“Jesus, you’re insane,” Beca half laughs and shakes her head. “Okay, well I’m not leaving you alone. So I guess we’re doing this out here. Look. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you why I left. I was the biggest idiot back then. Honestly, I didn’t realize that it was a big deal to you back then.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I thought you’d just move on and forget about me. You had other friends and were so focused on school and stuff.”

“Well, that theory didn’t hold up.”

“I know that now, and I’m sorry.”

“Why did you really leave?”

Beca sighs. “My dad told me that he wasn’t going to pay for Barden for me anymore. Between him not approving of what I wanted to do anyway, plus the fact that I was just one detention away from officially not ‘staying out of trouble’, he was done. So I decided to give up. I left town and went to stay with my mom here.”

“I remember you said he didn’t approve.” Aubrey says. “You told me that day we spent by the river. I never knew it was that bad.”

“It sucked. But I got through it.” Beca shrugs. “And I remember that day too. The day we ditched detention. Every time I look at you, I think about that day. And then I think about how I left. And how surprised I was that you gave me a chance. I’m so glad that you did, because you were the best thing that’s ever been mine. Even if it was only for a few days.” Beca smiles sadly.

“Beca…”

“By the time I wanted to tell you why I left, it was too late. I was gone. It happened so fast. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner though. I didn’t want to bring it up if you had forgotten about it. It seemed weird to do. I just was having such a good time with you in the present that I thought maybe we could just forget about the past.”

“God, I think we’re more alike than we know,” Aubrey can’t help but laugh a little. “ Thank you for finally telling me. I just felt a little abandoned, you know? But I thought maybe it was stupid, so I just didn’t ask. And I understand why you left. I’m kind of glad you did. From the moment I saw you here for the first time, I could see that you were happy here. I love you, Beca. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I don’t want that either. I think we’re stuck with each other at this point. If I flee the city again, you’ll just move there ten years later.”

“Stop.”

“Too soon?”

“A little.”

“Sorry.”

Beca pulls Aubrey to her, cupping her face so they can kiss. Beca’s hands are freezing on her cheeks, but Aubrey doesn’t care. Aubrey pulls back, just taking a moment to look at Beca. The streetlamp gives her just enough light to see Beca’s eyes sparkling, staring at Aubrey like she’s afraid if she looks away Aubrey will disappear.

“Can we promise each other something?” Aubrey asks.

“As long as it’s not a blood pact.”

“That’s up for debate,” Aubrey says. “No, I just want both of us to try to communicate better. And not repress everything. Clearly, it’s not a good look on us.”

“I think we can do that,” Beca agrees before she leads them both back upstairs to their warm bed.

Until this point, Aubrey had been too afraid to try to picture a future with Beca. She was afraid that after all of this finally came out, they’d fall apart. She couldn’t see for sure whether Beca would be with her in the future or not. It’s like everything was hazy and grey.

It feels different now.

Aubrey sees her future clearly. She sees herself taking on the world with Beca by her side.

“Oh, I have one more question,” Aubrey says as Beca flops down on the bed.

“Well consider me a celebrity on reddit.”

“...What?”

“Ask me anything.”

“Why did you punch Bumper?”

“Oh, shit, that?” Beca laughs. “He was trying to spread the rumor that you and I made out in the bathroom, and he was calling us dykes. So I punched him before he could even try to get to you.”

“I love you so much.”

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on tumblr @rosadiaznypd


End file.
